Unstructured

I like my posts to be structured. I like them to have an obvious subject. I like that we can discuss this subject, and you can give me your feedback. Tonight, I have no structure. I am structureless. Unstructured.


That's how I'm feeling in my life lately. Unstructured, and to be honest, I'm not really sure why. Have you all experienced it? That funk, where you just feel like you are at a standstill. It's like you have so many different paths and you just stand there staring at them, unmoving. And while you stand there staring, these paths get further and further away. And you know, just know, that one of them is good. One of those paths is so spectacularly wonderful and you desperately want to be on it. But here's the catch, they all look the same at the beginning. So you're standing there, motionless, and these paths are somehow moving further away from you and you just want to scream "Stop! Just give me a minute to decide which path I want to take!"


But you can't. And even if you could, the paths wouldn't listen. So you you just have to make up your mind. And you know what? Eventually you realize, they are all wonderful. Some may take you to unexpected places, some might be a little rougher than others, but they will all teach you. And you will reach the destination if you keep trying. Some paths might lead you right back to where you started. But that's okay. You just need to learn some more.


That's what this is all about, learning. We learn every day. And I am learning to see the beauty in everything. I can see the obvious beauty in my daughter's strawberry stained smile, with her curly hair standing out all around her head like a little Einstein. I can see the beauty in my son's laughter and huge grin, when I just know that he is truly enjoying the moment and feeling only love. And then there is the less obvious beauty. Things like the beauty of heartache. When it hurts so bad, you think this pain can't possibly last one single second more. But it does. And you learn you can survive. There's beauty in that. Beauty in the new found strength, and beauty in the knowledge that you can do it.


So here's to the path, whichever one you choose. Here's to the long way, and the bumpy road. Here's to even getting lost a few times and having to start over. Here's to learning. Just know, you aren't on that path alone. We're all there. We are all sharing this experience together, for better or worse.


Maybe I do have a little bit of structure tonight after all.