Changed but Not Ruined

Last week I was with my husband, Kelly, and we stopped in to get his hair cut. While we were there Layla asked to get her hair cut. When Kelly was done the girl that did his hair took Layla back. I went back to help her get all situated in the chair. While I was helping her the guy behind us mentioned to his client what a cute kid Layla is. That totally set his client off on how she is so glad she's not a grandma. She said she discussed with her daughter all the reasons her daughter should wait to have kids, including the reason that kids ruin your life. It was so hard for me to not turn around and say, "You said what to your daughter?" Imagine your mother telling you that kids will ruin your life?


My kids have changed my life. Changed it in every way possible, big ways, small ways, monumental ways. Ways that I still can't even understand. But ruined? No way. Never. They have taught me so much already. In fact, in their short little lives they have already turned into my greatest teachers.


They have taught me a new language. For instance, when Cal starts screaming and the screams end higher than they started, it means he's hungry. When he laughs and gasps at the same time, it means he wants me to put my face close to his and let him give me a kiss on my cheek. When Layla tells me she wants a blue drink it means she wants Gatorade, unless we're at Target. A blue drink at Target means an icee, and it doesn't mean it has to be blue. She also likes red blue drinks. If she's eating a corn dog and she says she wants it cut ty ty, that means she wants me to cut it in half and then into pieces with a knife with a pink handle (yes, it has to be the pink handled knife).


They have taught me patience. By walking with Cal in the middle of the night when he refuses to sleep (mind you, this is usually around 1am, right after his night owl sis has gone to sleep) I learn patience. Patience that I never knew existed. When Layla is screaming for the zillionth time in one day, I learn patience. Not that I am perfectly patient every time, but I am learning, and thankfully my kids are forgiving.


I have also learned strength from my children. They have shown me that I possess so much more strength than I ever knew I had. The strength to stand up for them, and ensure that they have a voice. The strength to battle with doctors and nurses for Layla to make sure that her symptoms are understood and her doctors will respond appropriately. Strength to leave Layla in nursery and stand outside the door while I listen to her cry, when all I want to do is swoop in there and scoop her up (thankfully she loves nursery now and doesn't cry anymore). Strength to make good decisions that I know will benefit them, even if they are difficult now. Plus, they have taught me that I really do have the physical strength to walk through the parking lot holding 24 lbs Layla with one arm and 16 lbs Cal with the other, along with a diaper bag and groceries. :)


Mostly, they have taught me about love. Love that I never could have imagined. Love that brings tears to my eyes just to think about it. Love that means I don't cringe when Layla throws up on me because she doesn't know how to throw up in the toilet yet. Love that means I can get up and snuggle with Cal and enjoy time when it is just him and I when he wakes up early, even though I have only been asleep for about 2 hours. Love that teaches me about Heavenly Father, and how He loves not only me, but my children. How He loves us all, with a love even stronger than how we love our kids. This love that He has for me, for us all, is a hard concept to grasp, but loving my kids has made it a little more understandable.


I am so grateful for them, and all that they teach me. I hope that somewhere in there, I am teaching them too. So do kids ruin your life? Never. They change it every day. Each day I am a different person because of them. Would I trade it? Not for anything. I love them, and even on bad days, they are my greatest joy. They bring Kelly and I so much happiness and laughter, I could not imagine, I do not want to imagine, what my life would be like without them.


So fifty year old lady in the Hello Kitty shirt, leopard print pants, and fedora, guess what? Your daughter did not ruin your life. Her children will not ruin your life, or hers. Perhaps it is time to do away with the wardrobe not even a fifteen year old should have, and move on. Let your daughter, and if one day she has kids, your grandchildren change you. It is amazing how much love kids give when they are shown a little bit in return.