Nerves

So I have mentioned this to a few people, but I'm nervous. I know quite a few people who have had babies recently, and when I see these teeny, tiny, new little babies I freak out. I am going to have one of these little people in my house in just a few short months. This only leaves me one choice...to wonder WHAT WERE WE THINKING? Okay, then I calm down and remember that we have survived two new little babies in our house. Yeah, but that was before Bull in a China Shop (aka, Cal) and Layla who LOVES a lot of things a little too much. Seriously, nothing breakable lasts long in our house. As I type this Cal is trying desperately to pour milk on the computer. So truly, what were we thinking?

Oh yeah, we were thinking about how much love a new baby will add to our already overly full house. How much more smiles and laughter we will have once sweet little Ellie is here. We were thinking about baby frog legs, sleepy yawns, and tiny fingers and toes.

If I think in a logical manner I know everything will be fine. The kids will love Ellie and somehow she will manage to escape infanthood without breaking. I know that she will be tough like her brother, and sweet like her sister.

I know this, but I'm still nervous. Of course I remember being nervous with Layla. I was terrified when it was time to leave the hospital. The overwhelming reality that Kelly and I were now solely responsible for a tiny new little life was the most frightening thing I have experienced. And then we brought her home and she didn't eat and she wouldn't poop. And I was sure something was horribly wrong. But it wasn't. A few days into it she was eating like a pro, and I was changing dirty diapers. And now she is almost three, with crazy curls and one of the sweetest hearts in existence.

I don't remember being nervous at all with Cal. We were in the middle of moving and I kept being sent to the hospital for premature labor, and all I wanted was for him to hang in there long enough to get moved. He did, and he has been in a hurry ever since. At six months he refused to eat anything but real food. He walked early, which means running early as well. He charges through our house without regard for anything or anyone else. He was the easiest baby ever. As far nervousness goes, we were out and about at the mall when he was just two weeks old. It was completely different than it was with Layla.

I'm sure once she is here and we are home and the family is adjusting the nervous feeling will go away. Maybe part of it is because this is the last one...

I feel this crazy need to remember every second of being pregnant. And that is impossible. Especially when taking care of Layla and Cal. I also feel like I need to document every second once she is here, which again is impossible. Ask anyone who knows me if I ever have a camera with me.

We'll survive. In fact, not only will we survive, but we will do it Campbell style. With a whole lot of love, laughter, and hopefully patience. We will all adjust to adding a precious little girl to our lives, and we will love her (we all already do. In fact, Layla is now the Ellie expert and will rest her head on my stomach and tell me, "Mom, Ellie wants a bottle" or "Mom, Ellie wants a blanket"). We are anxious. Layla is ready for her to be here now. I'm excited to meet her. Kelly is ecstatic that we are having another girl. And Cal, well he might be a little oblivious but I know he will adore his new baby sister once she is here.

In the meantime, I have decided to embrace the nervousness. It makes me a little more aware of how precious life is. It makes me realize how fortunate I am to have an amazing husband, and two (soon to be three) incredible children. I am so blessed that not only is this my family here on earth, but that we are sealed together for eternity. I know that as long as I do my part I can spend eternity with my family. And honestly, that helps. It helps a lot. It is so nice to know that I have an eternity to try to become the best wife and mom possible to these amazing people.